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February 9, 2004
February 9, 2004
36+ weeks!
Looking at the date, I just realized that yesterday marked exactly one month until my due date. I know the date doesn't really mean anything, but it's still exciting! And scary! :)
A Big Week
I was going to wait until the end of this week to write an entry, because lots of exciting things are happening. However, there's just too much to talk about to wait any longer. Firstly, this Friday I will be 37 weeks and considered full term and all-clear for a homebirth. Which means we'd better get shaking, gathering together all the supplies! Also, this Wednesday the midwives are coming to my house for a home visit. I think it's mostly just a regular visit, but it's at my house so that they know how to get there, and also just to make sure that I have all the necessities like running water and electricity. I asked them if I needed to have all the birth supplies ready and set out for their inspection, and they said it's nice to see, but not a big deal. We do have most things and could make do in a pinch, but I'd like to make one last big shopping excursion for a few essentials.
Pool etc.
This past weekend we hit Canadian Tire and bought a kiddie pool. It's 60" in diameter, and I'm not sure of the height. But the picture on the front of the box shows about three kids and a woman in the pool, and the water comes up to the bottom of the woman's breasts. Her arms are slung over the sides. So it seemed to be about right for size. It will be a tight fit in the room I plan to put it in, right outside our upstairs bathroom. It will be fine if we move everything out of that room, but the bathroom door will open only about halfway (it swings out). Plenty of room to come and go, but it will still be a bit cramped.
At a quick glance while at the store, I couldn't find a drinking-safe garden hose for filling the pool. Is this strictly necessary? I have read that you can't use just any hose since they're laden with harsh chemicals that will contaminate the water in the pool. Also, we need to figure out some way to attach a hose to our bathroom sink. I guess we'll hit Walmart and look for a waterbed fill kit. However, since the pool will literally be right outside the bathroom door, is it totally unrealistic to think we could just fill it by carrying a bucket back and forth (about four steps away) from the shower??
I have my supply list but since I'm at work and the list is at home, I can't type it in here. If anyone really wants to see it, let me know and I'll enter it on my TTM board. We have two sets of queen sheets, lots of towels, the plastic for the bed, a hot water bottle, etc etc etc. We still need 10 cheap facecloths (I don't want to ruin my own - they're mostly white), a large stainless bowl for catching the placenta, a couple of garbage cans, a large cookie tray or cutting board, and some herbal remedies. So all this, plus the hose and fill kit, should be purchased this coming weekend.
Baby Clothing!
Yesterday I started washing all the baby clothing. It's amazing how many items will fit in one load of laundry, since it's all so tiny! It seems we are in good shape for basics like onesies/diaper shirts and terrycloth sleepers. I hear that is what babies wear most of the time at first anyway, so I feel more relaxed about it all now. I'll wash bedding and blankets in the next load. Storage is a bit of an issue. Our original plan was to make a top for Chris's dresser and use it as a change table/dresser for the baby. Which would in turn require us to buy a new dresser for Chris. However, after looking at what's out there, I don't want to just buy him a cheap, crappy dresser, and we can't afford to buy a really nice one right now. So we are compromising. I have this antique Hoosier table with a metal top and two sides (solid wood cutting boards) that flip up and lock in place. When the sides are flipped up, the top of the table is the exact right size of the change pad we have. So we are using that! The only problem is that the table has one lower shelf and no drawers. So as far as clothing storage is concerned, we have none! I've already filled three lined baskets with the essentials, so maybe I'll just keep older clothing in storage until it fits. But I do need to find a few more baskets to hold receiving blankets and other items in the meantime. I'm thinking that instead of a dust ruffle, we'll just have baskets under the crib that slide out and hold stuff.
Other Gear
My dad came for a visit last week since he had a meeting in Toronto, and he brought our stroller/travel system with him. We put it together and it's huge! Another storage dilemma in our tiny house. But I really like it. It's the Graco Cirrus. It's pretty typical of most systems I think. We've decided to order a second car base for Chris's car so that we can just hop into either car and not worry about having to switch the base from one to the other. We haven't got around to this yet, or even figured out how to properly attach the base we do have, but I feel better just having it in the house.
We also ordered our crib (and mattress) from Sears online last weekend. It should arrive on the 21st (about two weeks from now). For those who are interested, it's the Jenny Lind from Sears, in white (you can probably find it on www.sears.ca). While it would be nice to get it set up before baby comes, it's not a rush since he'll be in our room in a cradle for the first while. We're not actually setting up a proper nursery before the baby arrives either. Since our house is only two bedrooms, we're keeping the small second bedroom as a guest room (with only a single bed, mind you) for any overnight guests until the baby is ready for the crib. So I won't go crazy decorating that room (it will really only need curtains and some wall art) until we plan to move the baby into it. It's already painted and carpeted and won't be a big deal to switch over once the baby is a couple of months old. I'm still doing a red and white scheme with red and white gingham, ticking stripes, and maybe some plaids thrown in. Right now the room is just very white - white walls, white blinds, white ricepaper light - with natural sisal carpeting. So it's nice and neutral. All the colour will come from accessories. It's such a tiny room that I don't want to overwhelm it with colour.
Signs - or lack thereof - of Impending Labour
I have every reason to believe that this baby is going to stick it out until my due date, or beyond. I am *almost* 37 weeks, and I have had virtually zero signs that labour is imminent. But I'll let you be the judge. Last week I was really uncomfortable, with the baby's butt always high up, pushing against my rib cage. I couldn't curl up on the sofa, or even slouch in my work chair (which my bad posture makes me prone to doing) without it being really uncomfortable. However, over the weekend this seems to have let up quite a bit. Does this mean baby has "dropped?"
Now, this will seem like a long, rambling story and that I'm airing a marital fight out here. But in hindsight it's all sort of funny and there is a point, so bear with me! Up until last weekend, I had felt nothing that I thought could be Braxton Hicks contractions. But then last Sunday, we were finishing installing crown moulding in the living room, and it wasn't going very well. The corners were not matching up properly and we were both getting very frustrated. My dad had been there all weekend helping us with it, and we'd finished the baseboards, which looked great. But he had left, and things were no longer working out. I got mad at Chris because he started talking about ripping it all down and getting a carpenter to come and do it properly since it'll never look good even after we caulk the cracks, blah blah blah. Well, after spending the whole weekend working on this, plus spending a few hundred dollars buying the moulding and special tools, the mention of ripping it all down really set me off. I started crying and went upstairs. Basically I worked myself up quite nicely, and Chris went down to the basement and watched TV while I sulked.
Since the living room was a disaster and we were due to leave for our friends' place in about an hour for the Superbowl, I started cleaning up and moving furniture back into place, vacuuming, carrying tools back downstairs, etc etc. All the while I was still steaming mad and frustrated. Chris came back up and wouldn't leave the issue alone. Really, he was trying to be helpful and offer suggestions, but in my hormonal state it was all just making me more upset. I am usually a totally calm and laid-back person and I doubt he realized how worked up I was. I told him I didn't want to hear another word about the mouldings and I stopped talking altogether. We got in the car and headed for our friends' house. Of course, we quickly realized that we didn't have enough gas in the car, so we drove by several gas stations looking to fill up. Gas prices had dropped so there were rather large lineups at each station we passed. I would've waited, but Chris kept driving, hoping to find one that wasn't so busy. Meanwhile, the gas gauge was getting lower and lower. And we were well off our direct route by now. Finally we pulled into a station, filled up, and left. But since we were so off route, we had to think of a new way to get to our friends' house which is way out in the suburbs. We hopped on the highway and drove, hitting traffic in the most unlikely spots. We got to the point where there should have been an exit for the major street that runs past their house and there wasn't one. So we called them and got alternate directions and had to get off at the next exit and get back on the highway going the other way. By this point I had really calmed down quite a bit, but Chris was really annoyed. He hates being lost. Well, after a few minutes I reallzed either the baby was really freaking out, or something else was happening. I suddenly figured out that the pressure or tightening I was feeling was happening all across the top of my uterus and lasting for about 30 seconds before going away, then coming back about a minute or two later. Braxton Hicks! I guess with all the stress and upset, moving of furniture and cleaning, and probably not having had enough to drink in the past few hours, my body was telling me something. Once I figured it out, I told Chris what was going on and he nearly went off the road trying to feel my belly harden. I could tell he felt pretty badly, thinking that all this had put me into premature labour or something. I assured him it was just BH, but since I had never felt them before, it was pretty obvious that they had been caused by all the chaos of the past two hours. By the time we arrived at our friends' house (an hour late) and relaxed, they were gone and I haven't had any since, at least none that I've noticed. So I guess I shouldn't get upset or move furniture from this point on. And at least now I know what to do if I get overdue and really want to put myself into labour a few weeks from now!
Work shower, Diapers
Last week my whole department at work had a shower for me and another coworker who is due in May. We are all women, and all pretty good friends, so it was really fun. My boss hosted it at her house. They gave me a sling (Heart to Heart), three Mother-ease one-size terrycloth diapers and one ME Rikki cover, and two white wicker baskets with red gingham liners from Pottery Barn Kids. Plus a few little items.
So now I have 15 AIO Kushies in size 10 to 22 lbs., plus the 3 ME one-size fitteds. A total of 18 diapers. I need about 18 more, but I'm not in a total rush since we're using the diaper service for the first month. I have been playing phone tag with the diaper service lady (she's a one-person operation I think) and we have yet to get in touch. I am anxious for her in-home presentation and to find out how it all works.
LLL Meeting
This Wednesday, I am attending the local La Leche League meeting in my neighbourhood. The topic is The New Family and Establishing Breastfeeding, and they are welcoming pregnant woman to come for a meet and greet and to make contacts for when you might need help with nursing. When I talked with the lady on the phone, she seemed really nice and chatty, asked about my birth plans, etc. She had the same midwife as me for one of her children, and said how great and supportive she had been. I think she was excited to hear I was planning a homebirth. So LLL aside, it looks like I might have hit on a local pocket of homebirthers like myself.
Leaving Town??
This Friday I will be 37 weeks pregnant. Is is a bad idea to go visit my parents in Ottawa one last time? It's about a 3.5 to 4-hour drive each way. It's not the drive that I'm worried about, but the small possibility of going into labour so far from home and having to make that drive back while in labour. Of course, I have had little or no signs of impending labour so I feel pretty safe about the whole thing, but Chris is worried. The thing is, we haven't been out of town since Christmas and I am starting to crave a road trip. And this is most definitely our last chance. I wouldn't leave town any later than this weekend. But is it unwise to do this at this stage?
Deep Thoughts :)
Over the past week or so, it has really started to hit me that Chris and I are about to become parents. I know that technically, we have been a "family" since we were married, but really we've still just been a couple. It has been fun being DINKs (Double Income No Kids), and we are one of those couples who do everything together. Since we bought our house 2+ years ago, we haven't had much of a chance to travel or even take little day trips to wine country like we used to, but our time is still our own and up until recently we have really taken that for granted. I think we are both in a state of shock that this is coming to an end. It is very exciting and we're very happy, but there is also definitely a sense of wistfulness about the whole thing. And I must say -- a bit of fear and anxiety about everything. Chris is definitely worried about the financial implications.
Are we ready? Well, we are almost finished gathering supplies and gear. But are we emotionally and mentally ready? Is anyone ever *really* ready for new parenthood? I know we are both mature enough to handle it, our relationship is stable and our marriage is rock solid. But do we truly realize the change that is about to happen, the sharp turn that life is about to take? I'm not sure. I often hear people say that they don't know what they did with themselves before they had children, and they can't even remember what life was like. I like my life the way it is right now, but I can only imagine that it gets richer, fuller, more full of love. I know there are endless weeks of zombiehood from lack of sleep. I know that nursing can take weeks, and a lot of emotional and physical pain in the meantime, to get established. I know that every little daily task is made so hard by this tiny being that is so demanding. But I'm also told that there is nothing like being a parent, and that the love you have for your child is all-consuming, and that's what makes it all so worthwhile. It reads like a sappy Hallmark card, which makes me skeptical! Because on the other hand, I also hear from so many mothers that they wish someone had brushed aside all the lovey gush-mush and told them how HARD it all really is. I want the truth! Either way, it is impossible to think that we are about to experience these things. I can't wait to meet this little boy who will change our lives forever, but at the same time I am also relishing these last few quiet weeks we have as a couple.
Thoughts on the labour and birth
I guess I'm having deep thoughts about everything lately. :) Actually, my thoughts on the labour and birth aren't deep so much as just hopeful. I have reason to hope that everything will go smoothly. I have had a textbook pregnancy with no complications (knock on wood). My mother had two relatively short, easy births. I am healthy and strong and I think I can handle pain fairly well without freaking out. I am not overly anxious or scared about the birth as I'm sure many women can be. My friend, who is also pregnant and due about two months after me, asked if I was scared when I watched shows like Birth Stories and saw all the yelling, screaming, tears, tension, medical equipment, etc etc. Trying my best not to be arrogant about it, I simply said No, because I know my labour won't be like that. I have done everything I can to avoid a stressful situation like that and when I visualize how things will be, it's pretty much the opposite of those scenarios. I'll be at home, either in my own bed or in my funky blue kiddie pool. I'll be surrounded by calm, competent midwives and Chris will be there and will hopefully be calm and will definitely be well-educated about what is happening. The atmosphere will be quiet, calm and loving. The attitude of everyone in the room will be that THIS IS NORMAL, this is HEALTHY, this is not an emergency, this doesn't require yelling or counting or panic. I like to think that, since I am a calm, laid-back person in day-to-day life, I will face labour and birth in the same manner. Perhaps this is unrealistic, but I am expecting this of myself. I am also an optimistic person and I fully expect everything to go well. And I know that on the chance that things don't go well, there is a modern, high-tech hospital five minutes up the road. So either way, I will be well taken care of and this experience will be the best it possibly can be. And when my baby enters the world, he will be greeted by two loving parents and three competent midwives. He'll be handled gently and placed right on his mother's belly. Even though he has been with me for the past nine months, he will finally have arrived at HOME, in every sense of the word. He will be loved.
***TALK TO ME***
Do I really need to find a drinking-safe garden hose to fill the birthing pool? Is it silly to think we can fill it bucket-by-bucket when the time comes? Any tips for filling it? Should we inflate it before labour starts (like, days ahead), or worry about it once contractions become regular?
Do you think the baby has dropped lower into my pelvis? What are you betting - that I go late, on time, or early?
Is it a bad idea to go away for the weekend at this point? Anyone been caught far away from home when labour started?
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