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September 4, 2003
Phew! Where to begin?? So much has happened since my last entry. I guess I'll just go chronologically, so rewind to the weekend of August 23/24.
You'll remember from my last entry that I had my friend's wedding on August 24th, the Sunday. Well, that weekend was totally crazy. I had to drive two hours on Saturday morning to meet my dad halfway, so that I could bring him the cat. Since we were leaving first-thing Monday morning (the day after the wedding) for a week's vacation, I had to get the cat squared away. Add to this stress the fact that while we were away, we'd arranged for a contractor to come in and do a lot of work on the house. So we also had to have two rooms cleared of furniture (no small feat in a house as tiny as ours) before we left. Anyway. I hope I'm not confusing you. But if I am, you'll see how things were a bit frantic. And then there was the small matter of having to write a toast for the wedding. So Saturday morning I met my dad and we passed off the cat without a hitch. I got back and settled in front of the computer to try and hammer out a coherent and thoughtful toast. I had limited time, since the rehearsal dinner was that evening at 7 and I would then be spending the night in the hotel with the bride and bridal party. So somehow I managed to patch together a toast. I thought it was pretty good and I actually got a bit choked up when I read it aloud, just to myself (yes, I'm a total sap). I then let Chris read it and he said, "It's fine." Gee, thanks for the input.
I packed my bag for the overnight stay and tried to remember every possible thing I'd need for the wedding the next day (dress shoes, dress, jewelry, proper undergarments, makeup, etc.). I finally got out the door. We decided that I'd take the un-air-conditioned car since Chris would have to drive himself to the wedding the following day in a suit, while I'd be in the limo with the wedding party (more on this later). The rehearsal dinner was fun. I had a chance to meet all the groomsmen, etc. and we had a hilarious time practicing our steps and how we would all be arranged around the chuppa (sp?) since there were so many of us (both sets of parents, several siblings on both sides, plus all the bridal party). When the bride's mother saw me she came right up to me and said, "Congratulations, how are you feeling, how far along?" This would have been no biggie, except beside me was a friend (one of the other bridesmaids) whom I had not yet told my news yet. I turned 15 shades of red and looked at my friend and said, "hey, guess what??" It was actually pretty funny.
That night we got back to the hotel around 10 and all of us girls went down to the hotel bar for a nightcap. I had cranberry and orange juice while they all had some exotic boozy concoction the bartender called "leftovers at the cottage" or something. The funniest thing was that the hotel was hosting, believe it or not, a Rubik's Cube convention that weekend. The whole bar was filled with all sorts of people playing with their Cubes and comparing solutions, etc. It was very weird, almost surreal. They were giving US funny looks because we didn't have one in our hands. Yes people, we're the freaks here!
We fell into bed around midnight and all had a good night's sleep. We woke up the next morning to the bride in the shower already. She was totally wired. Once we were all showered and dressed, we headed out for a quick breakfast before our hair and makeup appointments at 11. Some people went in a cab, while I drove myself and the other two bridesmaids in my car. The hair and makeup session took ages. The salon was great. It was a Sunday, and we had the place booked just for ourselves, with two makeup artists and three hair stylists! As time went on, we were all transformed. The bride looked fantastic. I had never had so much makeup on in my whole life, not even for my own wedding. We each had a whole can of spray in our hair, I swear. We started running late, and it was just me and the other two maids left at the salon. We quickly paid up and left. That's when it hit me. It was really hot out, we had a good 25 minute drive back to the hotel, and we were in my non-air-conditioned car. Either we had to drive with the windows up to save our hair from blowing around, or drive with the windows down to prevent us from sweating all our makeup off. Bad planning! I had parked in the shade but in the couple of hours since then, the sun had moved around and the car (which is black) was roasting. Needless to say, it was a slow drive home with the windows partway down, the sunroof barely cracked, and lots of Kleenex being passed around (for dabbing sweat). We got back to the hotel just in time to get dressed and go. We all piled into the limo and from there things were pretty relaxed. We did a million pictures, the bride and groom signed the ketubbah (sp?) and we all assembled for the ceremony. It was beautiful. I love Jewish weddings. It sprinkled about 10 minutes before the ceremony, and as the bride came around the corner, I swear the clouds broke at that instant. Perfect. The rest of the evening is a blur. Lots of old friends (the bride and I have been friends since grade 6) were there, and we broke our news to them quietly. They were all very excited. I gave my toast, which seemed to go over well (but really, who would tell me if it didn't??). We left around 1 am and headed home. I was exhausted. I took about 45 bobby pins out of my hair, took a shower and fell into bed.
The stress wasn't over though. We woke up at around 8 Monday morning, and my hair, despite the shower, was a disaster. I showered again and it finally looked semi-normal. I unpacked my overnight bad and started repacking for our trip. Our flight was at 1:30, but the airport was an hour away and we were flying with a new airline. So the clock was ticking. After packing, it was time to move some furniture. Chris had done quite a bit the previous day, but there were still a few large pieces that he couldn't move himself. Somehow we managed to move an armoire, a filing cabinet and a desk. He made fun of me when we were moving the armoire, as when we'd only moved it about two feet, I yelled, "I need a break!" This happened at least two more times before we got it to the next room. Hey, I'm pregnant, I didn't want to overdo it! We took one last look around at the ugly upstairs rooms that would hopefully be completely transformed when we returned from vacation. This is what we were having done: All the way up the staircase, in the upstairs hall and in another room, the contractor was to rip off some ugly fake panelling and acoustic ceiling tiles, tear out the old crumbling plaster and lath underneath, and replace it all with drywall. While it was torn down, an electrician was to come in and replace any wiring that was exposed by the demolition. We were also adding a few halogen potlights in our hall ceiling. A messy job, for sure, and one we were eager not to have to do ourselves.
We hit the road and got to the airport with lots of time to spare. The flight was uneventful and we met Chris's parents at the other end. Finally, our vacation had begun! The first thing we noticed when we arrived is how cool the weather was out east. It was so nice and refreshing after a long, hot Toronto summer. By the time we got to the island and arrived at the cottage, it was suppertime. I changed into a sweater (!) and after dinner Chris and I took off for a walk on the beach. Ahh, bliss. It was so cool out, I had rosy cheeks when we returned. We even had a fire in the fireplace that evening. The rest of the trip went by in a blur. We just relaxed a lot, ate a lot (lobster, yum), played golf and visited with old friends. We often talk about moving to Prince Edward Island, and wonder if we could handle the change of pace. It's very rural, very old-fashioned, and very, very different from living in Toronto. A lot of this we would welcome, but it would be such a drastic change. Where we live now, about 10 minutes from downtown, is a really great neighbourhood. Five minutes away is every possible amenity. Restaurants, groceries, coffee shops, dry cleaners, boutiques, you name it. We often don't even touch the car on the weekend, but do all our errands on foot. We order Thai food almost weekly. So picking up and moving two provinces away to a farmhouse in the country would be quite a shock. But we still think about it. I'll leave it at that for now...
Sometime towards the end of our vacation, our contractor called. Chris and I were out at the time, so my FIL took the message. It was something along the lines of "the drywall's up, but when are you coming home because there's lots to clean up?" My FIL told him we'd be home Monday evening (Labour Day) and the contractor was happy with that. We were glad to hear that things were almost finished, and anxious to see how it looked when we got home.
Our flight home was, again, uneventful. Traffic on the drive home from the airport was surprisingly light, considering it was Labour Day late afternoon/early evening. We got home and opened our front door. The first thing we noticed was plastic sheeting covering all our furniture still, including a little tent-like arrangement over the sofa and TV, which were pushed into a corner. There was plastic taped across every doorway. There was bubble wrap taped all over the wood floors (a good tip for those reno'ing in the future). So at least he had been careful to keep our stuff clean. We started walking up the stairs and soon realized that something had definitely been lost in the relaying of my FIL's message from the contractor. He was nowhere near done! There were still lots of walls torn down to the studs, and a few places where he'd put up the drywall but nowhere was taped and mudded yet. Arrrrgggghhh! So our big plan of coming home and having it all finished had not happened. We were going to have to live with the dust and mess for at least a few days. Fine. We had no groceries, so we ordered Chinese and ate it under "the tent" on the sofa.
I called my parents to say we were home and to see how my kitty was doing. Apparently he was fine, but he'd had a "big adventure," my dad said. Oh no. You see, my cat is strictly an indoor cat, and I am a very, very overprotective and anal cat owner. He is my baby. So I braced for what was coming. My parents had had some friends over on the Tuesday evening and with all the comings and goings, someone had let the cat out. Well, they didn't realize he was missing until the next morning, when he didn't show up for his breakfast routine. They started searching the neighbourhood, calling out for him. I guess they eventually put up signs and contacted both vets in their town. I imagine they were beside themselves with worry. It's a good thing I was blissfully unaware of what was happening, as I would have freaked out. They were starting to despair when all of a sudden on Friday morning (yes, three whole nights later), he appeared on the back lawn, heading for the back door. So all was well. But not over. There was one more incident. My mom went into the backyard to pick some flowers or something, and she turned around, and there he was under a tree on the other side of the yard. She went after him, which just made him run. She stepped on some uneven ground and sure enough, broke her ankle! She broke this same ankle years ago on a business trip in Sweden, and it's been rather weak ever since. I guess they caught him eventually, and he is (I assume) safe and sound now. When I first heard all this I was torn between being mad at them for being careless and letting him get out, and feeling horrible and guilty for everything they had gone through because of it. Now I'm just anxious to get him home. My mom is now in Toronto for two weeks on business, and I will likely have to drive up to Ottawa and pick up my kitty this coming weekend. Assuming the renos are done, of course.
As for the ongoing reno, we've managed to move things around in our bedroom to make a clear path from the door to the bed. There is still a filing cabinet right at my feet when I step out of bed. And piles and piles of stuff everywhere. So things are kind of stressful at home. And you know how work is after a week off -- you feel hopelessly behind and stressed about getting caught up. It's *almost* harder to take vacation than to not take one at all.
So that's been my life in the past two weeks. Kinda crazy. Now onto some actual pregnancy news...
Yesterday afternoon I had my first official prenatal appointment with the midwives. The one I met at the initial meet-and-greet wasn't there, so I saw one of the other ones. There are eight midwives in the practice, but each patient is assigned to a team of four. Throughout your prenatal care, you see all four of your team, so that when you go into labour, you've met each one. I guess they can't plan who will be on call at any given time. Anyway, this midwife was so young and cool. Not at all how you might picture a stereotypical midwife. She was wearing cropped jeans, a fitted black T, and black leather slides - very stylish. And she had a really cool haircut. Midwifery in Ontario is government regulated, so I suspect it's more like what a CNM would be in the States. They are required to follow obstetrical guidelines and so the whole process is likely more medical than what lay midwife care might be. She went over my history, and somehow decided on a new due date - March 8th. The later the better, I guess. She took my blood pressure, which was perfect, and wrote a requisition for bloodwork. I haven't had any bloodwork done in ages, so they're checking for the usual - Rubella and all that stuff. We passed on the HIV screening. She gave me the whole spiel about prenatal testing. We're past the time for the really serious stuff. She gave us the option of the 18-week ultrasound, and I think we'll do it. I am confident that everything will be fine, there's just something in me that wants to see the baby, and maybe even find out the sex. I almost feel like it's a modern-day rite of passage or something. So that's about a month away. But I still haven't made the appointment yet. And the final thing she did was to listen for the heartbeat with a doppler. It only took about 5 seconds, and then we heard it. Very cool. I'm now convinced that there's a baby in there, despite a puzzling (if blessed) lack of symptoms. I picked her brain briefly about homebirth, and she assured me that space and house size is of no concern. I told her we had no tub, but she said as long as you have a shower, it's fine. We can bring in a tub. She said it's expensive to rent a birth tub, but that any old inflatable pool should to the trick. She also gave me a list of doulas they like to work with. One of the doulas on the list offers prenatal classes, and covers homebirth issues, so I'm planning to call her. She teaches it at her house. We'll likely take her class, and if we like her, I might hire her as my doula. I'm still a bit undecided on whether or not I want a doula, but I figure it's worth looking into.
OK, that's it for today - I must get some work done! I'll leave a few questions at the end, but feel free to talk to me about anything and everything, not just the things I ask about. Thanks for reading!
***TALK TO ME***
Did you have a doula for your birth? Were you happy with the service she provided?
If you didn't have a doula, do you wish you had? Why?
Any other Canadians out there who have used a midwife? If so, how medical did you find them? If not in Ontario, where are you and what are the laws there regarding midwifery?
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