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November 3, 2003
From Poking to Kicking
In my last entry, I wasn't totally sure that what I was feeling was baby movement. Now I have no doubt! The little pokes have developed into full-fledged kicks, some of which can be seen and felt from the outside. Chris has felt a few kicks now too, and it's pretty exciting! I can't wait until they are even stronger and more frequent. Grow baby, grow!
The Solution to the Midwife Crisis
The day after I found out that my midwife practice was closing, I called the two nearest practices to get my name on their waiting lists. Within a week, one practice called me back to say they could take me. So they made me an appointment and I hoped this would be it.
The day of my appointment (which was at 4:30), I left my office at 3:50 and it's a good thing, because rush hour had already started. I drove into the parking lot (ah, free parking, already something better about this practice) at 4:26. I walked around the building and found the place. I was already excited to see that their sign simply said 'The Midwives Clinic' and that it wasn't lumped into a larger, icky health centre like the last one (another advantage, already, over the old clinic). I walked in and it was bright, clean, new and colourful. And small! Which was nice. I told the receptionist who I was and sat down. About one minute later, my name was called (what, no waiting half an hour or more???). A large, friendly blonde lady introduced herself as C, a student midwife. She led me into a little room with a single bed, chair, desk etc. It was all nice and homey, not too medical. We chatted for a couple of minutes and she said she wanted me to do a urine test. I was thinking she meant to pee in a bottle and they'd send on to the lab, blah blah blah. But no, I just had to pee on a test strip and compare the two colours (protein and glucose) to the control strip. I'd heard about this from other girls and was happy that it seemed like I was finally receiving the sort of care I'd wanted. I peed and the colours were normal. I went back into the room and she proceeded to tell me how they worked the practice.
I'm still not too clear on it, but it seems better than the last place in this regard too. You're assigned two midwives and two student midwives for your prenatal care. Each appointment is with one midwife and one student. The student does most of the stuff, but the midwife looks on and participates when necessary, but is there and active in the conversation. Come labour, one of the midwives and one of the students shows up. Could be either of the two midwives and either of the two students. So that's fine.
So it turns out that this student, and one of the midwives assigned to me, are both from the old clinic. But they were on the other "team" of four that I never met. At this point an older lady came in and introduced herself as S. She was to be one of my midwives. I was glad to hear it, since she seemed to be the ringleader of the old group, and the one I heard the most good things about. I'd say she's about 50, and I bet she's attended a LOT of births (didn't get a chance to ask her yet). She looked over my papers and said, "So you're wanting to have a home waterbirth, eh?" and smiled. She seemed pleased about that. At that point I made sure that they could attend a homebirth at my house, since it is two blocks outside of their catchment area. They just laughed and said it would be fine, not to worry.
Anyway, the rest of the appointment was pretty standard - blood pressure (didn't get a number, but it was fine), heartbeat with the doppler (144 - about the same as last two times), fundal height (2 weeks ahead!). She couldn't tell how the baby was lying yet. They asked how I'd been feeling, if I'd felt any movement and whatnot. They were happy with all my answers and were really nice about everything. Oddly, they didn't weigh me. I've haven't been weighed since my doc appt in June. I wonder if they don't think it matters. I'll have to ask them. I'd be curious to know (although I'm pretty sure I don't want to know!) how much I've gained since then.
I signed all sorts of forms, mostly for them to retrieve my records from the old place. So next time hopefully they'll have my bloodwork and ultrasound results, finally! Also, since I had a physical/pelvic with my doctor in late June, they're going to get that info from her office too. They were very organized and thorough. They talked me into coming in again in two weeks, rather than four, for a once-over physical since the old midwives never did all that. I imagine it'll be health history, breast exam, etc etc. I declined all the STD tests so they won't check for that, but they are going to check for any infections. Whatever. I'm just so relieved that they CARE so much! It seems like such a difference from before. I hope it continues this way.
I told them I was Rh negative and they noted it on my chart and said it wasn't a concern until 28 weeks, and then after the birth (which I knew). I confirmed with them that the Rhogam had no Thimerosol in it anymore, and they assured me it didn't, that Thimerosol was now illegal in Canada. I think they were impressed that I'd done my research. Anyway, they will check my blood for the antibodies before they automatically give me the injection, which I think is different from what OBs would do. So if I don't need it, I won't get it. Suits me fine.
Before I left, they made me an appointment (something the old place never did - I always had to call). As I was standing there I noticed their library of books and videos. Apparently you can borrow whatever you want, they just write it down and ask that you bring it back to your next appointment. Cool! I didn't take anything this time, but definitely will next time.
So all in all I'm very happy with the way things have turned out. The old clinic shutting down and abandoning me has certainly turned into the blessing in disguise I had hoped it would. I really hope all of the other women who were left without care, especially those much further along than me, are just as happy as I am.
Prenatal Classes
We signed up for prenatal classes, and we've already had our third class now! I love them. They are taught by a local doula (who unfortunately is not available in March) and she is very pro-natural, anti-intervention. She takes her inspiration from Pam England's Birthing From Within, and I was so excited during the first class when she handed out a sheet with a chart on it, entitled "Cascade of Intervention." I just knew everything she talked about would be fascinating to me. This is not to say that she doesn't also cover things like C-sections and epidurals, but the focus is definitely on avoiding them and educating couples about them. She has little buttons to pin onto your shirt when at the hospital that say "Informed consent requires dialogue" or something like that. Doctors must love that!! She also has a big sign on her wall with the quote: "We have a secret in our culture, and it's not that birth is painful, it's that women are strong." (Laura Stavoe Harm) So I know her beliefs are well-aligned with mine. She mentioned that her daughter was born in the next room (the class is held at her house) so I know she's a homebirther too. Anyway, we cover all sorts of topics too numerous to list, but suffice it to say I'm loving this class. Even Chris is enjoying it, so it was well worth the money. I'd be curious now to go and take the hospital childbirth class and see what it's like. I plan to go for a tour (just in case) so I'll see what the L&D ward is like.
A Shower for ME???
My MIL informed me (I say "informed" because she had already set the date and invited all her relatives before checking to see if I was available) that she is throwing me a shower on November 30. She's holding it at her sister's house in a city just outside of Toronto. I have really mixed feelings about this shower. While I am grateful to her for doing it, I am annoyed that it was pretty much decided and planned without consulting me first! I seriously wonder, if I'd been unavailable on that date, if she'd have gone ahead with it anyway! Naturally I called my mom with the news, and she is upset because she cannot possibly make it that day. It's a four-hour drive for my mom (as it is for my MIL, but she's retired now) and she still works full-time and much of that is on weekends. The weekend of the shower, there are some big-wigs coming from Europe and my mom HAS to be there, etc etc. So I am annoyed that A) my mother wasn't consulted about the date, and B) the shower is going ahead without her. Shouldn't both grandmothers be at a baby shower?? Anyway, since this is likely the only shower I'll have (aside perhaps from a little work thingy, I'm guessing), I gave the MIL a list of friends to invite too. But I am seriously annoyed that the shower is all arranged to make it convenient for my MIL's family (who also live quite a long way away), most of whom I've met only once, or not at all, with no thought about my own family. Like, it's a good thing Chris' great aunt so-and-so, whom I've never met, can be there, but who cares if my own mom can't make it?? I feel like a brat, but I also feel really sad that my own mother won't be at my first, and possibly only, baby shower.
Registering....
As a result of this sudden shower, I was advised to register for the baby items we'd like. I hate this sort of thing and I avoided it all for my wedding when I semi-eloped, so I felt weird about doing it now. Sort of like, "here are the things you can buy me - thank you very much." I know it's a smart thing to do, to avoid getting a bunch of unneeded or unwanted stuff. But I still feel weird about it. Anyway, we went to Sears and Toys r Us (Babies r Us only exists within TRU stores here). I registered for the crib we want, a mattress, a travel system, lots of newborn onesies, newborn cloth diapers, safety gear like a monitor, a breast pump (the Avent Isis) and other breastfeeing accessories, a change pad, tons of receiving blankets, crib bedding, and lots of other little things. It turned out to be quite fun actually. Like shopping for free (assuming you get the things you ask for)! One thing that was hard though, was clothing. Not knowing the sex (for sure) makes it really difficult! Aside from plain white items, there seems to be no such thing as gender-neutral baby clothing. Even the green and yellow items, I find masculine or feminine. I know it's a silly concern, but I don't want my baby mistaken for the opposite sex! So we just registered for lots of plain white things, and lots of sleepers and diaper shirts in colours like white, turquoise, cream, yellow, etc. Which is all little babies really wear anyway, right? Real "oufits" will have to wait until after the baby is born! Oh, and forget outdoor gear like hats, mitts, snowsuits, etc - all either pink or blue with flowers or cars or whatever on them. What is wrong with plain red?? That would be a nice neutral colour for a wee babe. This baby won't be going outside for a few days, until we can get him or her a snowsuit or bunting bag.
Chicago!
I am getting really excited for this coming weekend (the 8th and 9th). A bunch of iParenting ladies are meeting in Chicago, and it will be a blast. I am flying for free (yay Air Canada Aeroplan points!) and once we split the hotel so many ways, it didn't turn out to be too expensive at all. We plan to shop, eat and talk all weekend, and I know we'll have a blast. I have met some of the girls already (Amy and Alicia, and Jeanette, sort of!) and others I've never met. So it should be quite a fun time. My next entry will tell all about it!
****TALK TO ME****
If you didn't know your child's gender before birth, what sort of clothing did you have prepared in advance? What about cold-weather stuff?
Am I being a spoiled brat about this shower? Be brutally honest, please.
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