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July 26, 2001
There are parts of pregnancy that are, excuse me for saying so, completely boring. This is true especially after suffering a crisis, like my car accident and subsequent bleeding, but even the most mundane pregnancy sometimes seems like a really bad sitcom. No action, no news, nothing. No news is good news I suppose. But for me, weeks 15 through 19 were that odd time where I and nearly everyone around me knew I was pregnant, but there were no real outward signs of the babe to be had. Nausea had pretty much faded...My uterus was growing but still not huge...I couldn't feel the baby's movements yet. All in all, it makes for a weird sort of outlook on things. I would find myself rubbing m y belly absent-mindedly once in awhile, but other than that December 8th seemed like a long, long way off.
One morning, halfway through week 18, I woke up and needed maternity clothes. Just like that. With Chloe I wore maternity clothes only sporadically in my last month. With Ivan I started wearing clothes around week 30. Really, I hadn't expected to need to break any of that wardrobe out for at least another month or two. But there was no denying the truth. While I was still at a loss of 1 lb, my uterus was growing rapidly. My regular clothes made me look a little clownish, at best.
So I looked for my stash of maternity clothes from my last pregnancies. And I looked, and looked and looked. After three days and about a million boxes, I came to the horrible conclusion that someone (hint, John) had accidentally liberated my maternity clothes. To be fair, he couldn't recall doing such a thing, but did remember that he had taken several boxes of old stuff down to the Goodwill. It was gone...all of it. And I, on what I assume to be my last pregnancy, would have to brave the maternity clothes jungle yet again.
I know we all have issues about maternity clothes. And I know what you're thinking – “But Heather, they've really come along way since 30 years ago." Bah Humbug I say! This is especially true if you are plus-sized AND you tend to gravitate towards fashions that are a bit less mainstream than normal. Yeah, yeah…snappy Capri pants and sweater sets and cute jumpers – ack! It’s not that these clothes aren’t cute or nice, but for me, it just seems ill fitting (excuse the pun).
And when you get to the plus-sized clothes, it just gets worse. Everything is black, white, or ugly. Maybe they throw you a bone with some navy pants or something. And if it isn’t dark colors, then it’s a large busy print. I don’t want to look like a waiter in my umpteenth white shirt with black pants. I want a sexy red dress and maybe a deep orange ¾ sleeve length shirt with a beaded neckline. What about an off-the-shoulder deep purple blouse with matching palazzo pants?
But if I had to limit my complaint about maternity clothes to just one single criticism, then it would this: Why, oh why, must so many “career style” clothes be dry clean only? “Dry Clean Only” is bad enough when you’re not pregnant, but creating clothes for weekly wear with THIS branded on the label seems like adding insult to injury in my book.
Don’t clothing manufacturers realize that my ever-expanding belly is a magnet for any kind of spill imaginable? That assumes, of course, that the stain-in-motion could even reach my belly before hitting my protruding breasts. It’s like they’re in cahoots with the dry cleaners or something.
Here’s my idea: If you’re gonna make dry-clean only clothes, why not make them in colors and patterns that hide the stains AND are easy to pick out for what you might need during any one day. Say, for example, you know you’re going out for Italian at lunch. Maybe a “marinara red” suit would be perfect. Hamburger and Fries? A white crepe dress with an off-white splotch pattern would hide those grease stains perfectly. Make it 40’s style and call it “The Old Drive-In” or something quaint like that.
But that is a market that is largely untapped my friends. So, I braved the cyber-world of eBay and forged ahead bidding with abandon on anything that looked remotely wearable. By midway through my 19th week, I had a passel of maternity clothes being delivered from all over the country. And it was none too soon.
heather r
A side note: I’m trying to “catch up” on my diary entries, but didn’t think I was capable of putting basically half of a pregnancy, especially this pregnancy, into one marathon entry. I’m currently nearing the 21st week, but plan to be completely caught up soon. Thanks for reading!
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