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Expert Q&A

 

By Adolph Brown
Psychologist

My son is 7 months old. At night when I put him to bed he wakes up every half hour to hour. He is whinning or whimpering in his sleep. He is up more often now for bottles than before. My husband and I are getting virtually no sleep. How can I get my baby to sleep more soundly?

Whining or whimpering is much different than crying. I would suspect from your description that your son is waking and doing one of two things: either making noises to amuse himself, or wanting to be held. It is very unlikely that he needs to be changed or fed.

If he truly is not crying and the crib is supplied with crib bumpers, I think you can safely ignore him and go back to sleep. If you feel the need to check on him, quietly do so without picking him up. If he's OK, then go back to bed. Make sure his bed is in a different room.

Remember that at this stage, infants will respond to whatever behavior you reinforce. If you don't take him out of the crib when he whimpers, he will learn that as the consequence. If whimpering brings you to hold him, comfort him, and feed him, then he knows how to get you to do that.

Remember also that infants will suck on a bottle (or a breast) even if they are not hungry. They use the nipple and the close contact with parents as a pacifier.

If you are not comfortable leaving him in the crib, perhaps you and your husband should alternate nights of responsibility. One sleeps, the other takes care of baby.

Ultimately, the decision on how to handle this is yours. One should never neglect a child so one can sleep; but, if a child is safe, it is OK to ignore whines, ehimpers, and even crying until the child goes back to sleep. This can be nerve-racking, but will eventually train him to sleep without pacification. On the other hand, except for parents losing sleep, there is nothing wrong with picking your child up several times a night. Whichever you choose, however, be consistent, and be persistent. Anything else leads to confusion on the baby's part.

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