When a new baby arrives, the focus is almost 100 percent on the baby: what will the baby be called, how will the baby's room be decorated, what furniture and equipment does the baby need, etc., etc. But what about Mom? What does a new mom need just because she is a new mom? Probably the most important need of new moms is quiet time.

Find a space in the home away from heavy traffic and activity areas. Provide a comfortable chair with an ottoman. Next to the chair, place a small table with a lamp. On the other side place a wicker basket or container to hold your favorite current reading material, knitting or other articles of relaxation. Place a soft decorative blanket or quilt over the back of the chair. You might also provide for playing relaxation tapes near your chair. Make the planning of this space as important as the planning of the new baby's space.

Now comes the hard part -- make a commitment to yourself to use your special space every day for whatever time you determine is appropriate for your recovery and mental health. Even 15 minutes two times per day can do wonders. Have an agreement with another adult that you will have this important break and healing time and agree upon the parameters of that break. Make sure that the baby's needs and other members of the family are cared for by the other adult. Establish boundaries with the other members of the family that say when you are in your special space, you are off limits to the family, the phone and even the baby.

When your break time comes, go to your special space, close the door of the room, turn on your relaxation tape, wrap yourself in your blanket and give yourself permission to focus on you. You are very important and you deserve to be cared for just as much as your new baby. You are the only person who can assure that you are cared for.

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