First of all, I think you need to give yourself a lot of credit for doing as well as you are, considering the multiple stresses you are facing. Being pregnant, a single mom and having two highly active kids are not easy tasks! One of the most important things you've already done is notice that your anger is getting out of control and that you want to do something about it. And that is half the battle!

I'm not sure about a definite relationship between a mother's anger and its effect on her developing baby, however, I do know that any extreme emotion can affect how you feel about yourself and your ability to cope with life around you.

Is it your pregnant state that is causing you to feel more angry? Are you not feeling well physically? Are you tired, and therefore more irritable and less tolerant of your sons' behaviour? A trip to your physician might be in order to check things out. If tiredness is one of the factors, is there any way you can rest more? Perhaps you can call on your support system (like relatives, babysitters, neighbours) if you have one, to spend some time with the boys so you can have some time for yourself. This may give you the extra energy you need to deal with them in a non-angry way later.

It is really important that you take care of yourself emotionally right now. Can you call a parent distress hotline when you feel out of control? Can you take your anger out on something other than the children, like going into your room and beating up a pillow? Do you have a friend you can trust that you can call when you feel like you might "lose it"? Take a look when another mom is handling her children in a way you admire, and try and learn from watching her what works.

And finally, if by some small chance, this anger is something left over from your childhood, poor self-esteem or based on resentment about something, it might help to talk to a mental health professional about how you are feeling. It is amazing how the intensity of what we feel often decreases when we talk about what is really bothering us.

Good luck to you.

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