Family relationships can be fragile things, and many vegetarians find themselves in situations where it seems as if the only alternatives are to flout tradition and refuse to attend family gatherings on principle or, with resignation and a deep sigh, prepare to suffer the slings and arrows of meat-eating relatives. Some vegetarian families do choose the first option, deciding to host a vegetarian gathering or simply sharing a meal at home, then celebrating with family for other activities. Others choose to put on a happy face and brave the masses, armed with several debate-deflecting answers to difficult questions and comments.

It helps to discuss as a family how you will handle negative situations surrounding food and to agree ahead of time to support each other 100 percent. If your spouse is not vegetarian, the least he or she can do is agree not to join the crowd against you. Humor in these situations goes a long way. Family members seem to find it quite amusing when husband and wife have agreed to disagree over vegetarianism and poke fun at themselves over the issue. "Oh, I've tried to convert him, but you raised him as a meat-eater, and a meat-eater he'll stay!" (Your mother-in-law will love this one, trust me!)

However, you may not be worried at all about managing the family – perhaps they all just smile and say, "Whatever works for you, dear." In this case, your biggest concern may be just getting something, anything, fit to eat. Most people don't realize that when you say you don't eat meat, that includes the gravy made with turkey drippings and the chicken bouillon used to make the stuffing. But unless you are a vegan and don't consume eggs and dairy, including butter, there really is a lot that you can eat at the standard Thanksgiving or Christmas dinner: mashed potatoes, sweet potatoes, salad, rolls, vegetables – even pie and ice cream for dessert.

If you are vegan, you may wish to eat before you go, then snack on green salad, nuts and fruit. You can always call ahead of time and offer to make, say, the mashed potatoes and gravy, ensuring that at least one item is made to your specifications. Dark chocolates are loved by all, and no one will suspect that you've just snuck a vegan dessert on the table.

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